Let’s Go Fishing!

By

James W. Lewis

For some reason, I love the challenge of revising query letters. I don’t know why.

Maybe because they are the keys to potential literary stardom (or in some cases, facilitators of trampled self-esteem). Or maybe because they give an agent a sneak-peak at a writer’s skills.

Could it be I like the opportunity to brag about my accomplishments?

Whatever the case, I love chopping and shaping query letters, kind of like how my barber cuts my hair. With expert precision and concentration, my barber shapes my three-week uneven half-afro into a nice bald fade that feels oh-so smooth. Perfect for the world to see.

After umpteen revisions, that’s how I want my query letters--shaped to perfection. In this blink-or-you’ll-miss-it world of publishing, they have to be. Can’t hook the fish without the perfect bait.

With my first query letter (for a novel), it took a month to get it right. I even submitted the letter on Listservs for writer opinions. My writer friends didn’t disappoint. Armed with helpful feedback, I chopped and screwed it up like a Rap song from the south. Got an acute case of Tunnel Vision staring at that thing so friggin’ much. And even when I regained control of my eyes from my query letter hostage situation, I paid for editorial services--re-revising it.

I had to get it right! After all, the revisions determined whether my query would become another circular file statistic--or a silent fisherman baiting an agent response that starts with, "We’d like to see the first three chapters of…"

And who wants to wait three long months just to receive a "thank you, but no thank you" letter? That's the average wait time for a query response. Yup. Shoot, singers auditioning for American Idol--their voices are queries if you think about it--know within ten seconds if they suck or not. If they suck, the next wannabe Rueben Studdard or Kelly Clarkson curses Simon, cries an ocean, then eventually moves on. If they don’t suck, off to Hollywood! The foot is in the door!

I don’t know about you, but I’m trying to break down the door to my chosen path. Boom, bam, bustin' the hinges off and what not. But ya gotta crack it open first--and it's a hard door to crack. The right query letter can become your designated "door cracker."

So after X-raying my query for the gazillionth time, I researched several agents and selected six. Then I threw my hook in the water, sorta speak, waiting for the fish to bite...or at least, nibble.

To my sweet surprise, three of them asked for the first three chapters! The other three either couldn't take on new clients or never replied.

The process convinced me if you take ample time to perfect your bait, "fish" will eventually yank and pull until the hook snags one. Then you, the writer, can reel one in with the best bait of all: your manuscript.

From then on, I've approached my query letters the way a mother treats her child before sending him or her out into the winter weather for school. Moms take great care in ensuring little Mikey is nice and bundled up in a thick coat, gloves, scarf, boots and cap. I believe writers should take similar care with query letters.

All right, enough with the metaphors, right? Let’s get to the point. Here are my 15 tips for agent-friendly query letters:

1) Research the agent first. You don’t want to query a questionable agent who requires a "reading fee" (biggest scam ever.) Preditors and Editors is a good resource.

2) Use quality paper. I love bright white, 20-lb paper. No notebook, color, flimsy or paper with zig-zag, cutesy, third-grader designs. No hand-written letters, either.

3) Use one sheet for your query. Agents get dozens of queries a week. No agent wants to read three pages. Agents want "to-the-pointness."

4) Know the standard query letter format: 1-inch all around, Times Roman or Courier new, 10-12in font. Double space paragraphs only.

5) Know the submission guidelines. Not all agents accept email queries. Some agents have a word-count requirement. And you'll feel like a fool if you submit an erotic thriller to an agent who only accepts religious fiction.

6) No "Dear Agent" or "To whom it may concern." Address the agent by name. If you don't know it, research it. And definitely spell the name right!

Note: Be careful with gender. A name like Jerry Michaels sounds male, but "Jerry" could be female, too. "Dear Jerry Michaels" would suffice.

7) Cover the main points of a query: opening, description, qualifications (i.e. doctor writing a medical thriller), publication credits (including awards) and closing.

8) From the gate, get to the point. An opening shouldn't say, "be prepared to experience the greatest adventure of your life when you partake on a fantastic voyage courtesy of my sure-to-be New York Times bestselling novel entitled..." Ewgh! Say the genre (fantasy, thriller), word-count, title and what the story is about.

9) In the main body, describe your story in two to three paragraphs. Nothing cute, no gimmicks, no fancy words such as "filled with belly-bustin' humor..." or "it will make you laugh, cry, pissed-off..." The description should be similar to the back of a book.

10) If no qualifications or credits, don't sweat it. Write about your writer groups or conferences you've attended. Or if writing a book about a detective who's also a mother of three boys, definitely include you’re a Mom of three boys!

And if a well-known writer referred you to the agent with permission, mention that!

11) Research similar books. Describe a book or two like yours, but definitely write what makes your masterpiece stand out.

12) No outlandish reviews from family/friends! Agents don't want to know how much Mom, Dad and your brothers Moe, Larry and Curly loves your story!

13) Pitch one story at a time in your query. Of course, you can mention a sequel is in the works.

14) Know the difference between fiction and non-fiction queries. For non-fiction, the project can be incomplete. For fiction, the novel must be complete and preferably, professionally edited. Never query with an incomplete novel.

15) State why you solicited that particular agent. Maybe they represent an author you admire? Or their twenty years at Random House convinced you? Think about it: Doesn’t a prospective employer ask, "so, why do you want to work for us?"

Well, that about covers it. Oh, remember what I said about waiting three months? Yes, count on waiting three months at least, even with email queries. Of course, sometimes you get lucky--two agents replied to me in less than a week--but you’re basically picking a number for a long waiting line.

And never-eva-eva call an agent to follow-up--unless they request it. "What’s up with my query letter" phone calls will only aggravate, agitate and circulate your letter in the trash can with the small basketball rim attached.

So, it’s best to send it off and "fuggetaboutit." Focus on another project.

Okay, looks like I gave more than 15 tips, but it’s all good, right? At least you have a nice bucket of bait.

Feel like fishing, now?

The End