Cocktale of the Week: Mr. Telephone Man, Who The $@#&…


A three-month trip to Seattle is small beans for a young sailor and his girlfriend, considering its short distance from San Diego. The time away only makes the relationship stronger, right? At least, that was the plan … until the sailor called her home and a man answered. Damn.


“Can I speak to Diane, please?”

“Yeah, hold on.” Damn, I could’ve at least said “what’s up” to Larry Lar.

Diane took the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey, baby.”

She paused. “What do you want?”

“You. You’re all I want.”

Her breath brushed against the phone. “Yeah, right. Even after he picked up the phone?”

“Who? Your brother? Oh, say ‘what’s up’ to Larry Lar for me.”

Another pause. “James … that wasn’t Larry.”

My chest twitched when she said that.

Diane didn’t allow me to recover. She said, “That was him. I told you I met someone else.”

Mega-sized trembles ripped through me. Man, I wanted to chin-check somebody. That bit … I mean … that woman revealed she’d gone to the same club where we met and pulled another “hoe” to fertilize her garden … within two weeks. The same two weeks while I was away. Damn, talk about rebound. My worst nightmare was now reality.

I was helpless. Couldn’t do a damn thing. I stood at the peak of pisstivity in a foreign city…


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